Vagina Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once You Go Black

Hot 7 years ago

They say "Once you go black, you never go back."
And that's only true if you're a woman, cause you like a ten inch cock. We don't like a ten inch pussy!
I think it should be "Once you go to China, you love the small vagina."

If men had a vagina.

Hot 6 years ago

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.
and, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina .
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!

An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at his local. One of them says, "You know, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick."
"How did you get it fixed?"
"Well I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose and he got right after her."
He goes home to the farm and decides to try it. He grabs a cow, dips his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubs it all around the bull's nose. The bull gets a rip roaring boner and jumps on the cow immediately.
That night, he gets into bed with his wife and can't get the effect on the bull out of his mind. As she lays sleeping, he dips his fingers into his wife's vagina and feeling that it's nice and wet, he rubs it all around his nose and gets a rip roaring hard on. He quickly shakes his wife awake and cries out, "Darling. Look at more...

Wat a Cuss Word

Hot 3 years ago

The mom calls the husband a "bastard."
Then, the dad calls the wife a "bitch."
Little Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? what is a bitch and a bastard?"
Mom says "Well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen."
Later Billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!"
So Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? What is a penis and vagina?"
His mom says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat."
Later, Billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "Shit!"
Billy said "Dad, what is shit?"
And then his dad says,"Well billy, Shit is a type of Shaving cream."
Billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "Fuck!"
Billy says to his mom, "Mom? what is fuck?"
"Well Billy, fuck is a way of cutting the turkey"
Later the guests more...

: Why the Internet Is Like a Vagina

If you play with it too much you can go blind.

You wouldn't believe the things people put in there!

Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they really can't interface.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

The more people use it the bigger it gets.

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread more...

Strange But True

Hot 3 years ago

MASSIVE TUMOUR

In October 1991, surgeons at Stanford University Hospital removed an ovarian tumour weighing over 21 stone from a woman. It was the largest cyst ever detached from a human being. After the operation, the woman weighed 5 stone LESS than the tumour.



BABY CHICKEN

A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room complaining of abdominal pains. During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.



INNER SKELETON

A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from more...

Match the Google search from the top list with the correct number of search results from the bottom list.

1) "Tom Cruise is Gay"
2) "Tina Yothers"
3) "Mr. Roper"
4) "Mr. Roper" & "Puff Daddy"
5) "Smelly Vagina"
6) "Smelly Vagina" & "Mrs. Roper"
7) "Richard Gere" & Gerbil

a) 83,900
b) 0
c) 16,800
d) 11,400
e) 12
f) 59,500
g) 1,050,000
h) 32,400
i) 741

*Search results as of August 15, 2006, 6:40 EDT
Answers: 1)c 2)a 3)f 4)e 5)d 6)b 7)h