Useless Jokes

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    Punctuation Changes!

    Hot 10 months ago

    Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
    Dear Thomas,
    I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours?
    Maria
    Dear Thomas,
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,
    Maria

    Q. What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy?
    A. A woman.

    A helicopter was flying in Seattle when suddenly an electrical malfunction disabled all electronic navigation and communication equipment.
    Due to the amount of fog, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. He spotted a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
    The pilot thanked them by smiling and waving, determined the route to SEATAC airport and landed safely. When they were finally on the ground, his co-pilot asked him how he'd done it.
    "I knew it had to be the Microsoft building, because they gave me a technically correct but utterly and completely useless answer."

    A patient was in the examination room of a famous specialist, waiting nervously for the doctor to enter.
    "Tell me, who did you see before coming to me?" the doctor asked, as soon as he entered the room.
    "My local General Practitioner," replied the patient.
    "Your GP?" scoffed the specialist. "What a total waste of time! What sort of useless advice did he give you?"
    "He told me to come and see you!" answered the patient.

    Dear John:I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours? Gloria***Dear John:I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria

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