Usa Jokes

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    Bin Laden

    Hot 2 years agoby justincider

    Before the Navy Seals got Bin Laden, the Irish SAS stormed a department store in Dublin. They recieved information that Summer bed linen was on the 2nd floor.

    While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor." Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor." The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President." This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is m ore important than the President?!" more...

    Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I
    owe $3, 407. 00 in taxes. Please note the attached article
    from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein
    you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171. 50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600. 00 per toilet seat.
    I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2, 400) and six
    (6) hammers valued @ $1, 029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3, 429. 00.
    Please apply the overpayment of $22. 00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1. 5 " Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H. U. D. pays $22. 00 each for 1. 5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
    It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next more...

    Run Mr Taliban Song...

    Hot 3 years ago

    Sung to the tune of "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song)Day-O... oh Day-O, Air force come and they flatten your homeRun Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding, Air force come and they flatten your homeHey USA, USA, USA... Air force come and they flatten you home60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters, Air force come and they flatten your homeOld Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter, Air force come and they flatten your homeWhen we finish you all be crying, Air force come and they flatten your home, Pilot is brother of New York firemanAir force come and they flatten your home

    An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA.
    Little Boy says " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!"
    Officer says "Yes."
    Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

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