Upgrade Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all
    heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue
    Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be
    like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a
    successful private enterprise).
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be
    mailed the week before the new year. However it will
    follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the
    following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and
    a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will
    actually be released in March. The recipients must
    sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS
    loses a suit for appropriating some other country's
    intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to
    your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft
    sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form more...

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, you will pay an more...

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all
    heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue
    Service would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft.
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be
    mailed the week before the new year. However it will
    follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the
    following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and
    a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will
    actually be released in March. The recipients must
    sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS
    loses a suit for appropriating some other country's
    intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to
    your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft
    sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then
    to 1040, you will pay an upgrade fee each time. more...

    Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.Isaac is incredulous. 'Pop,' he says, 'you can't run Windows 95 on yourold, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with aminimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows 95.'But Abraham, the man of faith, gazed calmly at his son and replied, 'Godwill provide the RAM, my son'.

    An Unlikely Conversation
    (written by Terry Herrin in a reply on Software Creations BBS)
    Bart "I'd like to upgrade my Siamese to an Abyssinian."
    Clerk "Do you want a red or a tan Abby?"
    Bart "I dunno. Is there a difference besides the color?"
    Clerk "Well, the red one is faster, but costs quite a bit more. Personally, I don't think it's worth it. The price/performance isn't as good as the tan one."
    Bart "Do you think I need that extra speed?"
    Clerk "Depends on what you're getting it for. Any big dogs near your house?"
    Bart "Yes."
    Clerk "Well then, you'd better go ahead and get the red one. Unless you want to save money and get the tan. The tan is up-gradable to the red later. We offer our "Red Dye Overdrive Kit" for $100. Seventy percent increase in performance."
    Bart "Let's go with a tan one."
    Clerk "Ok. That's gonna run you $400. What more...

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