Unusual Jokes

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    Many uses for a Vibrator

    Hot 4 years ago

    An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
    He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
    He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
    "Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
    Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
    Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
    Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...

    A man follows a woman out of a movie theater. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says:
    "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I find it very unusual... He hated the book!"

    A man lost both his ears in a very serious automobile accident but as a result received a large insurance settlement. After some period of time he realized that he needed an assistant to help him manage his money.
    He decided to interview several candidates.
    The first candidate was very impressive and answered all the questions satisfactorily. The interviewer then posed one final questions, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
    "Well, yes," the candidate replied. "You don't have any ears." The interviewer was outraged as he was very sensitive about his lack of ears and dismissed the candidate.
    The second candidate was a very attractive woman who also answered all the questions satisfactorily. Again the interviewer posed one final questions, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
    "Well, yes," the woman replied. "You don't have any ears." The angry interviewer dismissed her immediately.
    The third more...

    A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate."Yes. You have no ears." He quickly eliminated the first candidate."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate."Yes. You have no ears." He quickly eliminated the second candidate."Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate."Yes. more...

    A man was injured in a serious accident but, fortunately, the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both ears. Due to this unusual handicap, he was very self-conscious about his appearance.
    As a result of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company and decided to fulfill his dream of owning his own business. He went out and purchased a rather small, but expanding, computer firm. Soon realizing that he had no business knowledge at all and knew nothing about running such a business, he quickly set out to hire someone who could run it for him.
    He picked out three top candidates and proceeded to interview them. The first interview went very well. The candidate appeared to know everything needed and had a pleasant personality. At the end of the interview, the man with no ears asked him, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" "Well, yeah," the candidate answered, "you don't have any ears."
    This more...

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