Umpire Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Ball

    Hot 5 years ago

    Once There Was A Match Between India And England. The Umpire Of The Match Was From England And So Was An English. During The
    Match Sachin Hit A Six In The Crowd. Bal Thakre Caught The Ball In The Crowd. He Refused To Return The Ball. But Agreed To
    Return It Only If The English Umpire Said A Word In Hindi Or Marathi. As He Did Not Know Any Word. He Said" Bal Thakre."He
    Returned The Ball As He Thought He Said Ball Takre Which Means Throw The Ball In Marathi.

    President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office
    to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.
    "What is it?" the President yells..
    "It's the abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks..
    "Just go ahead and pay it," responds the President.
    Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season.
    The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something..
    Suddenly, Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field..
    The stunned umpire shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said,
    Throw the first PITCH!'"
    Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's specials are chicken and fish..
    "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says..
    The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks..
    "Oh, he'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
    Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking more...

    Bill and Hillary are at the World series Game 1. The umpire stands up to start the game and makes a signal to Bill Clinton. Bill grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her off the bleachers.

    "No!! No!! Mr. President!! I said throw the first pitch!!" yells the umpire.

    Umpire: Not bad. Better luck next time.

    Just before the match, the secretary received a message in his office from the turnstiles. There's an umpire down here with two friends. Wants to know if they can come in.'
    'No,' replied the secretary, ' the man's obviously lying.'
    'How do you make that out?'
    'Whoever heard of an umpire with two friends.'

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