UPS Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ø If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they
call it Fed UPs?
Ø Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Ø If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby
oil come from?
Ø If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland
called holes?.... hehehehe......
Ø Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?.... OOpps.....
Ø Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Ø If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Ø Why is it called' a building', when it is already built?
Ø If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Ø If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
Ø If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Ø If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this? ??

Yesterday at the gym, while I was stretching, I noticed a small group of men standing around another man who was lying on the floor doing sit ups. I walked over to see an old man finish the sit ups as one person counted out, “99, and 100! ” “Look at ME!! ” the old man bragged, pounding a very flat and firm stomach. “Fit as a fiddle! You know why? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I don’t smoke and I don’t drink! Never touch a drop of alcohol, EVER! I don’t stay up late and I don’t chase after women. You won’t see me in the company of those wicked, loose women. No siree. ” Then, as he pumped his muscles, he said, “Do you know what I am going to do tomorrow? I’m going to celebrate my 90th birthday! ” “Is that so? ” I asked. “How? ”

Married life has many Ups and Downs... May most of yours be between the sheets!

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.

May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom.

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?" Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza Jane said, "Alright if'n it will shut you up you can." So Rastus looks up her dress and sees that see has no panties on to which he exclaims, "Sho is a wonder!"Well the bus shows up and they gets on. Next day, Rastus and Liza Jane are sitting there again when Rastus ups and asks her, "Liza Jane, can I look up your dress again?" Well Liza Jane at first refused, but as the day before she then gave in. So Rastus looks up there and seeing no panties he exclaims, again, "Sho is a wonder!"Well this goes on for a few days when on the last day that Liza Jane would permit Rastus to look up her dress she tells him, "Rastus you can look up my dress but you have to tell me one more...