UPS Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jeff Hornagold loved being a UPS driver. So when the suburban Chicago man died this week of lung cancer, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan agreed to take him on one last delivery and transported Hornagold's body to Saturday's funeral services in his UPS truck.

Of course he was late, damaged and no one would sign for him.

Today I had to break up a fight between two UPS drivers.

More senseless Brown on Brown violence.

A man claims he shipped himself from New York to Las Vegas via UPS. UPS said they would not comment until between 2pm and 4pm, or tomorrow after 10am.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.

Yesterday at the gym, while I was stretching, I noticed a small group of men standing around another man who was lying on the floor doing sit ups. I walked over to see an old man finish the sit ups as one person counted out, “99, and 100! ” “Look at ME!! ” the old man bragged, pounding a very flat and firm stomach. “Fit as a fiddle! You know why? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I don’t smoke and I don’t drink! Never touch a drop of alcohol, EVER! I don’t stay up late and I don’t chase after women. You won’t see me in the company of those wicked, loose women. No siree. ” Then, as he pumped his muscles, he said, “Do you know what I am going to do tomorrow? I’m going to celebrate my 90th birthday! ” “Is that so? ” I asked. “How? ”