Twinkie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Your momma's so fat... when sitting at a stoplight, watching a little yellow voltzwagon beetle run a red... she jumped up and yelled, "
Stop that twinkie!"

A guy finished oofing and he threw his yellow condom out the window. His girlfriend said "You could use it again." So the guy goes outside and sees a little kid playing with it. And he claims that it is his. So he offers the kid $25 for it. So the kid agrees and takes the money home to show his mom. The mom asked "How'd you get the money?" The kid replies "I sold a twinkie to a man, but the secret is that I licked out all the cream filling."

A twelve year old girl was taken to the barber shop for a haircut with her grandfather. As her grandfather was getting a haircut she was standing next to the barber's chair eating a Twinkie.
The barber said, "Say there lass, you're getting hair on your Twinkie."
The young girl looked up at the barber and said, "Yes, and I'm getting boobs too!"

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:ExposureA Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess"RadiationA Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic more...

One night a couple decided to have sex.
The man asked the women "what color condom would she like," she said "yellow."
So after they were done they threw it away.
When taking out the trash it fell out and a boy walking by stopped picked up the condom and said, "OH! A TWINKIE!"

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments: ExposureA Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess"RadiationA Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic more...

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, I subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure:

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell.
Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds -- even pigeons -- avoided this potential source of substance.
Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess."

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes -- the
approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 more...