Turd Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!" One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that shit?"

    Funny euphemisms people use for farts. ..
    Gravy Pants
    Firing Scud Missiles
    Turd Honking
    Mud Duck
    Panty Burps
    Pant Stainers
    Cut the Cheese
    Trouser Cough
    K-Fart
    Crack Splitters
    Turd Tooties
    Anal Audio
    Great Brown Cloud
    Exercising the meat nozzle

    What do you call an attractive but contemptible man?

    A hot turd.

    Q&A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads:
    Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket?
    A: It's his photo ID.
    Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common?
    A: Nothing - "yet".
    Q: How do you play Talibutthead bingo?
    A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
    Q: What is the Talibuttheads national bird?
    A: Duck.
    Q: How is Salami Bin Coward like Fred Flintstone?
    A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
    Q: What does Salami Bin Coward and General Custer have in common?
    A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
    Q: What's the difference between the Talibuttheads and a bucket of crap?
    A: The bucket.
    Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
    A: Two days.
    Q: Why don't Salami Bin Coward's people eat turd sandwiches?
    A: They hate bread.
    Q: Why don't the Talibuttheads have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
    A: The camels can't handle it.

    Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was - "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99". Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree' n dirty tree' n dirty tree - dat 99." The boss is getting more...

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