Tumor Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said, "Well, I've
    got some good news and some bad news."
    The patient sighed, "Okay, give me the bad news first."
    "The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor."
    The patient looked very grave, and asked, "And what are the good news,
    anything to help me with the brain tumor?"
    "The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain
    transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a young
    couple was killed and you can have which ever brain you like. The
    man's brain is $100,000.00 and the woman's brain is $30,000.00."
    "I'm glad to hear there's something you can do to help me," the man
    replied, "But, out of curiousity, why is there such a big difference
    in the price of male and female brain?"
    The doctor replied, "The female brain is used."

    BRAIN TUMOR
    Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
    Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
    Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
    Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
    Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
    Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
    ****
    MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
    Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
    Mr. Bean: 9
    Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
    Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
    ****
    WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
    Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
    Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
    Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
    ****
    QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
    Friend: What are you looking at?
    Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
    Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
    Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
    ****
    Friend: how many more...

    A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff - how come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?", and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff - how come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, more...

    Once, Isaac Newton came to India and happened to watch a few Tamil movies. The poor man ended up being terribly confused about the validity of the various laws of physics that he had discovered.
    Here are a few scenes from the movies that he watched.
    1)Rajanikanth has a brain tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long live Rajanikanth!!!
    2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
    3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth more...

    Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


    Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

    In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

    Here are a few scenes


    1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!


    2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. more...

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