Trooper Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Pope in the Limousine

    Hot 1 year ago

    The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

    The Pope proceeds to hop on Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could go. Well, he gets to about 90 miles per hour and,WHAM! There are the blue lights of our friendly State Police in his mirror.

    He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Well, the trooper, seeing who it was, says "just a moment please I need to call in."

    The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."

    The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again? "

    The trooper says, "No, even more more...

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON'S FRIEND??
    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

    The Juggler

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.
    The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket
    The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.
    While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk, good old boy, from S.C., got out and watched the performance briefly. He then went over more...

    Hope never dies

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he's driving at 65 mph, the maximum limit. Several miles further along, the Trooper's right on his bumper and the man increases his speed to 75 mph. The Trooper activates his lights and siren and the man reluctantly pulls onto the shoulder. After the Trooper demands the man's driver's license and registration, he sez, "Mr. {Smith}, I cannot for the life of me figure out why, when you knew I was behind you for quite some time, you sped up knowing that you could be cited for speeding. What in the world caused you to do that? The man looked relieved, stared the Trooper directly in the eye and softly spoke, "Trooper, three months ago, my wife ran off with a Maryland State Trooper. I thought you were him, more...

    Water to Wine

    Hot 5 years ago

    A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
    The state trooper smells alcohol on the minister's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
    "Just water," says the minister.
    The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
    The minister looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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