Treasure Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    For years I badgered my mother with questions about whether Santa
    Claus is a real person or not. Her answer was always "Well, you asked
    for the presents and they came, didn't they?" I finally understood the
    full meaning of her reply when I heard the definition of a virtual
    device: "A software or hardware entity which responds to commands in a
    manner indistinguishable from the real device." Mother was telling me
    that Santa Claus is a virtual person (simulated by loving parents) who
    responds to requests from children in a manner indistinguishable from the
    real saint.
    Mother also taught the IF... THEN... ELSE structure: "If it's
    snowing, then put your boots on before you go to school; otherwise just
    wear your shoes."
    Mother explained the difference between batch and transaction processing:
    "We'll wash the white clothes when we get enough of them to make a load, but
    we'll wash these socks out right more...

    Polak Sharing Treasure

    Hot 10 months ago

    One Russian and one Polish workman were digging the foundations for a new road. After several hours of hard toil, the Polish guy hits his shovel on something hard in the ground.
    Both men work hurriedly to dig the object out and discover that its a treasure chest. On opening it they find jewels, coins, gold etc. beyond their wildest dreams. Both are wild with happiness and dance around madly.
    When they have calmed down, the Russian takes the Polish workman's hand and ernestly says "Sir, we will share this just like Russian - Polish comrades should" and the Polish guy says, "Oh no, 50 - 50"!

    A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."

    An avid skin diving treasure hunter became disillusioned after spending his entire Florida vacation searching for underwater treasure, only to find none at all.
    Disheartened, he spent his last day simply paddling around in the shallow waters near the shore. The entire scene seeemed really dark, when he banged his shin on something unseen on the bottom.
    Digging down to find out the cause of his pain, he found an old chest full of precious gems, silver and gold.
    That, of course, brightened his outlook considerably. He was heard to remark afterwards, "It only goes to show you that booty is shin deep!"

    For years I badgered my mother with questions about whether Santa Claus is a
    real person or not. Her answer was always, "Well, you asked for the
    presents, and they came, didn't they?" I finally understood the full meaning
    of her reply when I heard the definition of a virtual device: "A software or
    hardware entity which responds to commands in a manner indistinguishable
    from the real device."
    Mother was telling me that Santa Claus is a virtual person (simulated by
    loving parents) who responds to requests from children in a manner
    indistinguishable from the real saint.
    Mother also taught the IF...THEN...ELSE structure, "If it's snowing, then
    put your boots on before you go to school; otherwise just wear your shoes."
    Mother explained the difference between batch and transaction processing,
    "We'll wash the white clothes when we get enough of them to make a load, but
    we'll wash these socks out right now more...

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