Tray Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, decried stem-cell research. He said that his administration and the Bush administration are taking steps to stave off an ‘Orwellian’ future. He described a future with laboratories growing tray upon tray of new embryos. He’s obviously confusing Orwell’s vision of the future with Aldous Huxley’s, Brave New World. Wherein children are born from embryos in a factory according to the economic need of the society. An Orwellian future would be a government that twist language to meet their political goals, spies on its people, equates war with faith, and prohibits dissent

    A printer is made up of three parts
    1. the tray
    2.the other tray
    3. the blinking light

    INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT:
    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to
    accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not
    give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
    infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others
    smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
    good it is.
    If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.
    Set the oven using these keystrokes:
    mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat
    Then enter:
    ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
    If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and press
    start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
    If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the
    ingredients of the dinner found on the package label, the weight of
    the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The
    oven will calculate the more...

    Solitaire '99Here is the README.TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solitaire '98README file, v4.3Welcome! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire '98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!" For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.* Solitaire '98 brings this dream to a blissful reality. System Requirements:- 266 MHz Pentium II or better- 800 megabytes of free hard drive space (2.1 gigabytes recommended)- 128 megabytes of RAM (256 megabytes more...

    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your
    dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
    If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: Then enter: .
    If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
    Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven
    must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the
    oven and enter . This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.
    Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, more...

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