Tracing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in, and poured him out on the coffee table. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes. She said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love living here." Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes. .."

    A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
    She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
    She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
    She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
    Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..."

    I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet... Yes - and it's a mammoth task!

    A blonde and her friend were tracing their names from stencils to cut out. When they ran out of room, the blonde turned the paper over and said,"Hey, there's lots more room on this side!"

    A woman recently lost her husband.

    She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.

    Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him:

    "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

    "Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

    "Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money."

    Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said,"Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes!!"

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