Towards Jokes

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    Ebonics 101

    Hot 3 years ago

    Welcome to EBONICS 101Herein follow a few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar..."Damn- that shit is DOPE!"That is a wonderful concept/object/action."Can't FADE that."I am unable to comprehend or assimilate that concept at this time."Shante ain't havin' it."This is not something that Shante will allow to occur."Homey- Boo was dropping PHAT beats."Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music."YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!"Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?"JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!"I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity."What's up? Why you ALL UP in my shit!?!"Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs."She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!"The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existent at this time."Woooooo- Renaldo was PITCHIN' STRAIGHT GAME to baby-doll, more...

    A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
    towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand!
    It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
    around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
    Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
    Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
    Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"
    Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
    Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
    Luke: "No!"
    Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
    droid of yours?"
    Luke: "Threepio?"
    Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."
    Luke: "No..."
    Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at more...

    Bibi Neanyahu

    Hot 1 month ago

    Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, goes by the nickname' Bibi'.

    His wife, in contrast to most Israeli' first ladies', takes a more activist role in her country's affairs.

    At some point in the ongoing peace process with the' Palestinians' there will be a fomal conference complete with state dinners. The press is dying be on hand to hear Mrs. Netanyahu lean towards Mr. Arafat and motioning towards her husband intone:

    'Yasir, that's my Bibi'

    A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos.
    When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won.
    After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.
    The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.
    The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T.V.
    The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city.
    He realized he was all alone and needed someone to share his good fortune.
    He called the front desk and told the clerk to send up one of the best, high-priced call girls in the city.
    Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the more...

    Mumbai to Pune

    Hot 2 years ago

    This happened about a month or two ago near Lonavala and even though it sounds like something out of the X-Files or from an Alfred Hitchcock movie... it's real! This guy drives from Mumbai to Pune and decides not to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest human habitation. It's dark and raining and pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the monsoon rains are so strong he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opens the car's door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him when he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!
    Even though there's no one in the front seat and no more...

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