Titanic Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A panicky passenger on the Titanic:
    Passenger: Captain, captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?
    Captain: Two Miles.
    Passenger: In which direction?
    Captain: Towards the bottom!

    There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic". Some have come to light due to the success of movie. For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic"was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

    The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

    An Englishman, an American and a Belgian were on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg. and they all rushed to the deck in order to abandon the ship.
    The Englishman, being the typical gentlemen shouted "Women and children first !!"
    The American, being a typical American shouted "Fuck the children !!"
    And the Belgian, being a typical belgian asked "Do we have time for that...!?"

    Goofs for Titanic

    Hot 10 months ago

    GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
    Continuity
    Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
    Revealing mistakes
    A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
    Anachronisms
    Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
    Continuity
    In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
    The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

    #1
    Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
    #2
    Historically, a blue ribbon has been awarded for first prize.
    #3
    The motto of M-G-M movie studios is Art for Art's Sake.
    #4
    The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named "Volney."
    #5
    It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
    #6
    The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
    #7
    The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.
    #8
    The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
    #9
    There are more Rolls Royce cars in Hong Kong than anywhere else in the world.
    #10
    X-ray technology has shown there are 3 different versions of the Mona Lisa under the visible one.
    #11
    The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
    #12
    It takes only about 8 minutes more...

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