Titanic Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An Englishman, an American and a Belgian were on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg. and they all rushed to the deck in order to abandon the ship.
    The Englishman, being the typical gentlemen shouted "Women and children first !!"
    The American, being a typical American shouted "Fuck the children !!"
    And the Belgian, being a typical belgian asked "Do we have time for that...!?"

    There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic". Some have come to light due to the success of movie. For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic"was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

    The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

    A panicky passenger on the Titanic:
    Passenger: Captain, captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?
    Captain: Two Miles.
    Passenger: In which direction?
    Captain: Towards the bottom!

    In the current film, Titanic, the character Rose is shown giving the
    finger to Jack (another character).Many people who have seen the film,
    question whether "giving the finger" was done around the time of the
    Titanic disaster, or was it a more recent gesture invented by some defiant
    seventh-grader. According to research, here's the true story:
    Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory
    over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured
    English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw
    the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the
    future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
    the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck
    yew").
    Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and
    began mocking the French by waved their middle more...

    #1
    Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
    #2
    Historically, a blue ribbon has been awarded for first prize.
    #3
    The motto of M-G-M movie studios is Art for Art's Sake.
    #4
    The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named "Volney."
    #5
    It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
    #6
    The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
    #7
    The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.
    #8
    The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
    #9
    There are more Rolls Royce cars in Hong Kong than anywhere else in the world.
    #10
    X-ray technology has shown there are 3 different versions of the Mona Lisa under the visible one.
    #11
    The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
    #12
    It takes only about 8 minutes more...

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