Tit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM
    ---Author unknown

    For years' n years they told me,
    be careful of your breasts
    Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
    and give them monthly tests.

    So I heeded all their warnings
    and protected them by law
    Guarded them very carefully,
    and always wore a bra.

    After 30 years of careful care,
    the doctor found a lump
    He ordered up a mammogram
    to look inside that clump.

    Stand up very close, she said,
    as she got my tit in line
    And tell me when it hurts, she said,
    Ah, yes, there! That's just fine.

    She stepped upon a pedal...
    I could not believe my eyes
    A plastic plate was pressing down...
    My boob was in a vice!!!

    My skin was stretched' n stretched
    from way up by my chin
    And my poor tit was being squashed
    to swedish pancake thin!!!

    Excruciating pain I felt within
    it's vice-like grip
    A prisoner in this more...

    For years' n years they told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests." So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, An always wore a bra. After thirty years of careful care, The doctor found a lump, He ordered up a Mammogram To look inside that clump." Stand up very close," she said, As she got my tit in line, "And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah, yes! There! That's just fine." She stepped upon a pedal.. . I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate was pressing down. My boob was in a vise!!! My skin was stretched' n stretched From way up by my chin, And my poor tit was being squeezed To Swedish pancake thin!!! Excruciating pain I felt, Within its vise-like grip, A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit!!"Take a deep breath" she said to me Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is smashed in her machine, I can't more...

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