Tights Jokes

How many animals can you shove into a pair of tights?
Two calfs, an ass, a beaver, countless hairs, the occasional cock and one dead fish no one can find.

Why do ballerinas wear tights?
So they don't stick to the floor when they do splits.

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing tights?
A: If she farts, her ankles swell.