Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Ok, 3 canadians were walking along the beach, one from the Yukon, one from Quebec, and one from Newfoundland. Now, it happened that they found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, the genie promised each of them one wish. The Yukon said, "I wish for fish teeming in our waters for a million years." The genie snapped his fingers and said, "Done."
The Yukon man went off to go fish. Now the Quebec man said, "Being as the Quebecois's (is that right?) are a superior race, I want a wall a mile high and a mile thick all the way around Quebec so no one can get in, and no one can get out.
So the genie snapped his fingers, and transported the Quebecois to Quebec so there were no problems.
The Newfie stepped up and said, "Ok, it's a mile high and a mile thick, and no one can get in or out right?"
"Correct." said the genie.
"Fill it with water."
your mommas so thick she tripped over a cordless phone
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. An XT clone in a Pentium zone. Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped. Answers the door when the phone rings. Any slower and he'd be in reverse. - Gignac As a baby his parents stood him on his soft spot. As bent as a corkscrew. As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb. As happy as if he had brains. As happy as the village idiot. As much use as a back pocket in a vest. (Very English.) As much use as a lead parachute. As quick as a corpse. As rare as a nine bob note. (Very English.) As sharp as a marble / bowling ball / beachball / pin head / wet sponge / bowl of Jello / mashed potato sandwich, and twice as smart. As sharp as a sack full of wet mice. - Foghorn Leghorn As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest. As smart as bait / an automatic email responder script. As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly. As thick as champ. (Irish champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.) As thick as two short planks more...
Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in
tiny cups at gunpoint.
Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by
the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a
Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle
of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within
the cooking compartment.
Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of
meat and poultry.
Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since
children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an
amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before
cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is
put in, as well as when it is removed.
A series of step-by-step more...