Teller Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Little Girl

    Hot 1 year ago

    This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race. A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that more...

    Fluctuations

    Hot 1 year ago

    Two brothers, Ying and Yang, wandering down a street in America with arms full of purchases and cameras swinging from their necks, one of the brothers slips into the bank to exchange 30,000 yen into dollars.
    Ying: 'I wan to change 30,000 yen for dollar, bow much I get?'
    Teller: 'Oh, you will get $8000.'
    Ying: ‘Fank you very much.'
    Teller: 'You're welcome,' and hands Ying the $8000.
    Ying and Yang carry on doing copious amounts of shopping until Yang says he is a little low on local currency.
    So Ying told Yang to go to the same bank and get a good deal. So off Yang goes.
    Yang: 'I wan to change 30,000 yen for dollar. Now much I get?'
    Teller: 'Oh, you will get $6000. '
    Yang: 'Only $6000! But how cum my broffer, just a few hour ago, get $8000?'
    Teller: 'Fluctuations.'
    Yang: 'Well, fluck you Yankees too!'

    A frog goes into a

    Hot 1 year ago

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Hello, Patricia Whack. I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
    Patti looks at this frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
    The frog says $30,000 and the teller asks him his name, and the frog says it's Kermit Jagger, he's the adopted pet of Mick Jagger and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.
    Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
    Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and leaves the room. She finds the manager and says, "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out more...

    Fluctuations

    Hot 2 years ago

    Two brothers, Ying and Yang, wandering down a street in America with arms full of purchases and cameras swinging from their necks, one of the brothers slips into the bank to exchange 30,000 yen into dollars.
    Ying: 'I wan to change 30,000 yen for dollar, bow much I get?'
    Teller: 'Oh, you will get $8000.'
    Ying: ‘Fank you very much.'
    Teller: 'You're welcome,' and hands Ying the $8000.
    Ying and Yang carry on doing copious amounts of shopping until Yang says he is a little low on local currency.
    So Ying told Yang to go to the same bank and get a good deal. So off Yang goes.
    Yang: 'I wan to change 30,000 yen for dollar. Now much I get?'
    Teller: 'Oh, you will get $6000. '
    Yang: 'Only $6000! But how cum my broffer, just a few hour ago, get $8000?'
    Teller: 'Fluctuations.'
    Yang: 'Well, fluck you Yankees too!'

    Rules For Bank Robbers

    Hot 2 years ago

    According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac.
    Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed:
    Pick the right bank. Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money. On the other hand, you don't want to be too familiar more...

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