Bill was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for the teapot. Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $100! "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bill had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.
Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE. EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like--we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore. How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?" Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?" more...
Helen: Mum, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But Ive got a nice teapot. Helen: No you havent. Ive just dropped it.
YOUNG Pakistani civil servant had just got married. He was desperately trying to find somewhere to live. His mother advised him to go and see the faqir (holy man) as a last resort. And so he did.
"What I'm looking for is a small apartment, nothing too expensive, just three rooms, kitchen and bathroom, with a balcony and if possible a telephone and..."
"Very well", said the faqir. "Take this incense and burn it in a little blue teapot. A djinn will appear, who will make your wish come true."
The young man did as the faqir said. He burned the incense in a little blue teapot. And, sure enough, the djinn appeared.
"Your wish is my command!"
"Well, I'd like a small apartment, nothing too expensive, just three rooms, a kitchen and bathroom, with a balcony if possible a telephone...."
"Is that all?" the genie asked. "You fool! if I had a three-roomed apartment, more...