Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
NEW TAX LAW
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time is is pissed off, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has 2 dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 1999, your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10-12'' Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10'' Privilege Tax $15.00
5-8'' Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12'' must file under Capital Gains.
Anyone under 4'' is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!
We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
* Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
* What if one's penis is self-employed?
* Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
* Are more...
How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1. 00 mistake in an expense report?
Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.
Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.