Tastes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Contest: Beer vs. Pussy
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you married. Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead. Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy
Too much beer and more...

An Indian walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender for a coke. The Indian says " Hey bartender. My coke tastes funny. " And the bartender says " I bartender, I play joke, I go wee wee in your coke. " So the Indian leaves without paying. The next day, a priest walks in and asks the bartender for a coke. The priest says " Hey bartender. My coke tastes funny. " And the bartender says " I bartender, I play joke, I go wee wee in your coke. " So the priest leaves without paying. The next day, a cowboy walks in and asks the bartender for a coke. The cowboy says " Hey bartender. My coke tastes funny. " And the bartender says " I bartender, I play joke, I go wee wee in your coke. " Then the cowboy says " I am cowboy. I am fast. I blow bullet up your ass. "

A guy comes in to the patent office with an apple, He gives it to the clerk and tells him to taste it. After he does he says: "Wow it tasts like an orange!".
The guy says:"turn it over!" he does and tastes and says: "Wow it tastes like a watermelon!"
And so every time he turnes the apple over it tastes like a different fruit! The clerk tells him that if he developed an apple that tastes like a "pussy" he will be a millionaire over night!.
And so after about a month the guy comes back and gives the clerk an apple and says taste it! The clerk takes a bite and then spits it out and shouts: "Yuck it tastes like s#it!!!!!"
So the guy says: "Turn it over!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. Hangovers eventually go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer always goes down gently.
17. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer more...

You can enjoy a beer all month. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. When beer goes flat you toss it out. Beer is never late. Hangovers eventually go away. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. hen you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down gently. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer. A beer is always wet. Beer doesn't demand equality. A beer doesn't care when you come. You can have a beer in public. A frigid beer is a good beer. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes more...

Duct tape won't fix that.
Wrasslin's fake.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.
Who's Richard Petty?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
Actually, unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
My fiancee, Paula Jo, more...

36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck...
1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
2. "Duct tape won't fix that."
3. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
4. "We don't keep firearms in this house."
5. "You can't feed that to the dog."
6. "I thought Graceland was tacky."
7. "No kids in the back of the pick-up...it's not safe."
8. "Professional wresslin's fake."
9. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"
10. "We're vegetarians."
11. "Do you think my hair is too big?"
12. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
13. "Honey, these bonsai trees need watering."
14. "I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR."
15. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
16. "Deer heads detract from the decor."
17. "Spitting is such a nasty more...