A Texan walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles... The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
The Texan answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, hell, I figure that if I have to roll my own, so can she!"
Some of these are EXTREMELY offensive. Women who are sensitive
probably skip this. Why women!? Any FCP or men too!!
1. What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy is warm
and moist. A cunt is what owns it.
2. What's a clitoris? A female hood ornament.
3. What's the only bad thing about the 69 position? The view.
4. Why do men fart more than women? Because women won't shut up long
enough to build up pressure.
5. Why did cave men drag their women around by the hair? Because if
you drag them around by the feet they fill up with dirt.
6. Why did god give men penises? So we'd always have at least one
way to shut a woman up!
7. What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? You
don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
8. How is a woman like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you.
There once was a very morbid girl who had three different boyfriends. She also had a home with three different closets. One of the closets contained old panties, another contained old bras, but the nastiest of all was a storage for used tampons.
One day, she took one of her boyfriends into the closet with all of the old panties, had sex with him, and suddenly locked him in the closet. She left him in the closet screaming for two weeks before he died of thirst and hunger. She did the same with another boyfriend, except this time in the closet with all of the old bras.
It was all going to be a routine for her to do this to the third boyfriend in the closet with the old tampons. However, when she returned a month later to make a deposit to her stash, she found the man alive and well in her closet.
With utter amazement and dismay, no doubt, she asked " How in thee FUCK are you still alive??!!"
The boyfriend cheerily replied " I couldn't have survived if more...
it was the night before thanksgiving
and tara was in bed when she heard her parents call each other bitches and basterds.
so she went to their room and asked her dad
"dad whats a bitch?" and her dad said"its what all women are." then she went to her mom and asked "mom whats a basterd?"and her mom replied "its what all men are." then tara went back to bed. the next day was thanksgiving and tara and her parents were at the market when her dad put down some condoms "daddy what are condoms?" and her dad said "its what all men have." then tara went to her mom and saw her with a box of tampons and asked her mom "what are tampons?"and her mom said"its what all women have." now there back at home and there waiting for their family to come over .so tara went to see what her dad is doing.so she went to the bathroom and saw her dad shaving when he cut himself and yelled "SHIT!" so tara asked her more...
TWO TAMPONS WERE CROSSING THE STREET. THEY SEE A FRIEND. WHICH ONE WAVES?
NEITHER, THEY ARE BOTH STUCK UP CUNTS.