Tablet Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Badly Sunburned

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man, vacationing on a small Caribbean island, settled down on the beach for a day of sunbathing. He unintentionally fell asleep and when he awoke several hours later, he noticed that his legs were badly sunburned. Hardly able to stand the pain, he went to see a doctor.
    After examining the man's legs, the doctor said, "I'm sorry, but since this is only a small village clinic, I really don't have very much to help you. However, try this," and he gives the man one Viagra tablet.
    "Doctor, I have an acute sunburn," the man said, "what is a Viagra tablet going to do?"
    "Nothing at all for the sunburn," replied the doctor, "but it will help to keep the sheets off of your legs tonight."

    Homelite Zip Start Vac Attack Blower:
    Do not point blower in direction of people or pets.
    (Wild animals are presumably okay?)
    Bono 527 Multi-Purpose Cement:
    Exposure may result in confusion.
    (Anyone who sniffs glue is more than confused)
    Bowl-Fresh Automatic Toilet Cleaning Tablets:
    Harmful if swallowed.
    (I know a kid who can put a whole orange in his mouth- but that's beside the point)
    Sunbeam Simple Press Iron:
    To prevent burn injury, keep hand away from heated area.
    (I had no idea intense heat could BURN you! Go figure!)
    Hungry Jack Lite Syrup:
    Caution: Syrup bottle may be hot.
    (After lengthy instructions on how to heat the bottle.)
    50 Water Balloons:
    This bag is not a toy.
    (Yes indeed, it's the real thing!)
    9 Piece Super Bouncers Bouncing Balls:
    This toy is a small ball.
    (Apparently that's a bad thing.)
    Tagamet HB2000:
    Do not take if you are allergic to Tagamet HB2000 or other acid more...

    3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor's waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.

    Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one...

    "What was that?", the other two ask, curiously.

    "Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for little baby", she replies, patting her stomach affectionately. Satisfied, all 3 continue with their knitting...

    5 minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..

    "What was that?", the other two enquire.

    "Vitamin tablet", she replies, "Good for mommy, good for little baby" and she pats her stomach affectionately. All 3 smile and continue busily with their knitting...

    5 minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, more...

    A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.
    "How are you grandpa?" he asks.
    "Feeling fine," says the old man.
    "What's the food like?"
    "Terrific, wonderful menus."
    "And the nursing?"
    "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
    "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
    "No problem at all - nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they ring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet... and that's it.I go out like a light."
    The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?
    "Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully more...

    A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital."How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man."What's the food like?""Terrific, wonderful menus.""And the nursing?""Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you.""What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?""No problem at all - nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they ring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet... and that's it.I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra more...

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