Swiss Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Heaven And Hell

    Hot 4 months ago

    In Heaven:
    The cooks are French,
    The policemen are English,
    The mechanics are German,
    The lovers are Italian,
    The bankers are Swiss.

    In Hell:
    The cooks are English,
    The policemen are German,
    The mechanics are French,
    The lovers are Swiss,
    The bankers are Italian.

    Foreign languages

    Hot 7 months ago

    A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
    The two Americans just stare at him.
    "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.
    The two continue to stare.
    "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
    Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
    The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
    "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

    More soviet Joke

    Hot 1 year ago

    Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal
    Assistance.
    Czech: Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked
    me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: Come again?
    Czech: Are you deaf? Out there in the street, a Swiss soldier
    knocked me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: You're confused. It was a Russian soldier who
    knocked you down and took your Swiss watch.
    Czech: Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.
    Henry Cate III

    Comedians best lines

    Hot 3 months ago

    "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' "A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."' "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every more...

    Three swiss witch-bitches, which wished to be switched swiss witch-bitches, watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch, which wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch switch?

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