Sweat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

Man: Excuse me love you don't sweat much for a fat bird!

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo French fried ships - Cairo Garlic Coffee - Europe Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe Boiled Frogfish - Europe Sweat from the trolley - Europe Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong Roasted duck let loose - Poland Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland Fried friendship - Nepal Strawberry crap - Japan Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam Toes with butter and jam - Bali French Creeps - L. A. Fried fishermen - Japan Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues Kolic - Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer Swine - Chinese chocolates Libido - Chinese soda Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink Shocking - Japanese chewing gum more...

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and high heels. My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought at Walmart. I am also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner - it smells a little funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are more...

Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a flotation device.
When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris more...