There are 3 ladies on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed them that there was a technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea.
A chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up.
A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The chinese lady replied that if she lookod beautiful, the guys coming to rescue survivors would usually save the pretty ladies first, On hearing this, the Malay lady started to put on all her jewellery.
An Indian woman sitting beside the Malay lady was curious and questioned her.
The Malay lady said that the rescuers would save her because she would easily be identified by the glitter of her jewels.
Then the Indian woman started taking her clothes off.
Both the Chinese and Malay ladies were shocked and questioned her.The Indian woman then replied that rescue teams do not usually look for survivors. They usually look for the "Black Box" first.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your
mind and. . . begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with
reading something more more...
The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.
The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row
the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.
The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that
long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them
would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.
The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he
would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.
After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen,
the captain jumped overboard and sank without trace.
The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they couldrow the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly lastthat long, that there was only one solution to the problem and thatone of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that hewould volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumpedoverboard and sank without trace.
What things can you never eat at breakfast?
Answer: Lunch and supper.
Why does a fireman wear red suspenders?
Answer: To hold his pants up.
What's the main qualification for having a military funeral?
Answer: You must be dead.
Why does a chicken cross the street?
Answer: To reach the other side.
If a plane flying over the border of France and Italy crashes, where do you bury the survivors?
Answer: One does not bury survivors.