Survivor Jokes / Recent Jokes
At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!" The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades. The survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?" The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"
At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"
The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.
The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted.
"I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"
The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"
With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor", Alabamans have made their own version. Contestants are given pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.
Network TV is reported to be developing a "Texas version" of
"Survivor," the recent popular TV show.
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas,
Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and
Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that
reads, "I'm for Gore, I'm gay, and I'm here to take your guns."
The first contestant to complete the round trip is the winner.
A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style". The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo, with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Al Gore, & I'm here to confiscate your guns". The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
Trouble is brewing in paradise.
The new season of Survivor is already experiencing difficulties with it's contestants. Producers have stated that the Asian team has opened up 3 nail salons and a All You Can Eat Buffet, the Hispanic team has multiplied from 5 contestants to 28, the Black team called in sick, and the White team is happy as long as the Asians, Hispanics, and Blacks stay off of their side of the island.
This is going to be the theme for the next Survivor Show:
Married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.
Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.
There is no access to fast food.
Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.
The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.
The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.
They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3: 00 A. M; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.
The last man wins only more...