Survive Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Laloo prasad Yadav, Mulayam, Jaylalitha, Sitaram Kesri, Sukh Ram and other corrupt politicians are travelling in a ship. Suddenly the ship crashes into an iceberg and starts sinking. Now, who will survive?
A: India will survive.

There are four people on a plane. Pilot, The Smartest Man in the World, a father, and a son.
The pilot does something wrong so the plane is about to crash. There are only 3 paracutes.
The pilot says "I need to survive this crash to go on piloting more planes." He grabs one and jumps off the plane.
The smartest man inthe world says " I need to survive this crash teaching people of my knowledge." He grabs one and jumps off.
The father says "Son you can have the last paracute I have lived longer than you and had more experience in life so go ahead."
The son says "Thats ok Dad the smart man took my backpack..."

Three men went hunting in a dense forest. As one of them was crossing a fallen log, he tripped, dropped his rifle, and shot himself. The other two ran quickly to their unconscious friend and saw that his chest was covered with blood. Walt turned to Stan and said, "We gotta get Elmer to da hospital quick or he's gonna die."
"How 'er we gonna carry 'em?" Stan asked. "Why Elmer, he weighs a good two hunnert pounds."
"Hell Stan! That ain't nuttin'," assured Walt. "We carry bucks out bigge 'n 'at, all da time. We kin do it da same way." Walt was right.
In no time, they were pulling their 4x4 up to the emergency room door, and doctors, nurses and orderlies rushed Elmer inside. A while later, one of the doctors gave the two worried friends the bad news, "Your friend didn't make it." Walt said, "Yeah, I thought dat gunshot hit 'em in da heart."
"No," said the doctor. "The bullet actually went more...

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted.

"I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"

I'm gonna survive or die trying.

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As
he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team.
"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"
The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones
beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.
The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You
can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"
The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't
judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only
went down yesterday!"

At the plane crash site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank Heavens!", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but Good Heavens, man, your plane only went down yesterday!"