Supreme Jokes / Recent Jokes
By a vote of 5 to 4, the Supreme Court today rescinded Vice President Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize and awarded it to President Bush instead.
Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Roberts stated that "President George W. Bush has done more than any person in the world to demonstrate what an elusive prize peace is."
Hello. This is Nonoxynol-9, the personal and private telephone number of Mikhail Vladivostok Gorbachev, General Secretary of the Supreme Council of the glorious Communist Party of the Union of Sovjet Socialist Republics, Commander-In-Chief of the Combined Armies of the Proletariat Peoples of Russia, First Citizen of the Order of Lenin, Supreme Patron of the Soviet Institute of Literature and Domestic Sciences, President of the Soviet People's Council of Peace and Happiness and Captain of the Kremlin B Squash Team. But hey, call me Mike.
Q: How many Supreme Court Justices does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine-three to form a plurality, two to concur in part, two to dissent one to concur in part and dissent in part with the plurality opinion, and the last to concur with the dissenters in part.
This is a true story. Last night I was in a minor accident on the
highway. We both pulled off to the side and as soon as I smelled the other
guy's breath it was obvious he had been smoking pot. When the cops finally
showed up, I told one of them this and he said, "and just how do you know
what pot smells like?" I told him I used to use it before I was nominated
to the Supreme Court.
Roy Smith, System Administrator
Public Health Research Institute
The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious or constitutional reason, they simply have not been able to find Three wise men and a virgin in the nation’s capitol.
BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT Bush to be smitten later today In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the Supreme Court`s decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I`m not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I`m sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit." "I`ve watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida `will never be known.` Well, I`m God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let`s cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20, 219 votes." Shocking political analysts and pundits, God`s unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God`s Word for possible grounds for appeal. more...
The Supreme Court won't hear an appeal from a group of Native Americans who think the name of the NFL's Washington Redskins football team is offensive. The Supreme Court also refused to hear an appeal from a group of Redskins fans who think their team's play is offensive.