Supposedly Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. January 12, 1993San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23, 000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom. After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game. Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated PressA fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday. Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said. Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.

    Tonya Harding supposedly saved an 81-year-old woman's life at the Lost
    and Found Bar in Portland by performing CPR on her (the medics said the
    woman had merely fainted). Says Jay Leno: "And I guess out of force of
    habit she performed mouth-to-mouth on three bikers at the pool table,
    too."

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Farmer's Branch, Texas: Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now have an alternative to reading old magazines. William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage ceremony with any 30, 000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs. For the $290 price of the inspection, he will throw in the cost of being married by the local justice of the peace, a $25 value. The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on the marriage. Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman, suggests, "Maybe the car will break down and the marriage won't." He says he hasn't seen anything like this stunt since his days as a practicing attorney, when a client asked him to draw up wills for employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas. Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he more...

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