Supper Jokes / Recent Jokes

A MATTER OF COMMUNICATION
There was a nice lady who was a little old fashioned.
She was considering a week's vacation in sunny Florida at a
particular campground, but she wanted to make sure of the
accommodations first.
Uppermost in her mind were toilet facilities, but she couldn't
bring herself to write "toilet" in a letter. After considerable
deliberation, she settled on "bathroom commode," but when she
wrote that down, it still sounded too forward, so she rewrote the
letter to the campground, and referred to the "bathroom commode"
as the "B.C.."
"Does the campground have its own B. C.?" is what she actually
wrote.
The campground owner was baffled by the euphemism, so he showed
the letter around to several people at the campground, but they
couldn't decipher it either. Finally, the campground owner
concluded that she must be referring to the local Baptist Church,
so more...

Q. What did Jesus say at the Last Supper?
A. If you boys want to get in the picture, sit on this side of the table.

The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. This being Easter more...

Years ago in Ireland, there was a priest who was very anti-British. Every Sunday he would blast them from the pulpit. He became so notorious that the Pope himself summoned the priest to Rome for an audience. "Father," said the Pope, "I want that there should be peace between the British and the Irish. You`re not helping matters at all. I want you to kiss my ring and swear by the Blessed Virgin that you`ll never so much as mention the British in public again." "But Your Holiness, I - I - " the priest stammered. "No buts," said the Pope. "Swear it here and now or there`ll be trouble!" "Aye, Holy Father," sighed the father. "All right. I swear it." The very next Sunday just happened to be Easter, and the priest was back at his pulpit in Ireland, giving his annual Easter sermon. He got to the part of the Easter story where Jesus said, "And one of you shall betray Me." The priest continues: "Saint Andrew more...

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

During the Pope's recent visit to the US, there was a woman interviewed on the news who is associated with a group that is fighting to have the curch allow women to become priests.
At one point she said: "There are church officials who tell us that women cannot become priests because there were no women at the Last Supper. I would have to respond: 'Who do you think cooked the food? Who served? And who cleaned up afterward?'"