Superman Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Super hero sex

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
    A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a Few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
    As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see If she was free.
    As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening." So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.
    Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"
    "NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"

    If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

    The Greatest Liar

    Hot 1 year ago

    Cinderella, Superman and Pinocchio die and go to heaven. On their way they talk:
    Cinderella: "I want to be remembered as the most beautiful girl in the world"
    Superman: "I want to be remembered as the strongest person in the world"
    Pinocchio: "I want to be remembered as the greatest liar in the world"
    It's Cinderella's turn. She goes into the room and comes out smiling, saying "It's done. I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!"
    Then goes Superman. He goes into the room and comes out happy, saying "It's done. I'm the strongest person in the world!"
    Last comes out Pinocchio, angrily he says: "Damn! who's this Clinton guy?!?!"

    Drunk Superman

    Hot 8 months ago

    On the top of a tall building in a large city, there was a bar. In this bar, a man was drinking heavily. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot, then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Minutes later he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process.
    This one guy watched this happen a number of times until curiosity got the better of him.
    Finally he went up to the man and asked, "Hey, you keep drinking, then jumping off the balcony. And yet, minutes later, you're back again. How do you do it?"
    "Well," said the other man, "the shot of tequila provides buoyancy such that when I get near the ground, I slow down and land gently. It's lot of fun. You should try it."
    The guy, who was also quite drunk, thought to himself, "Hey, why not?"
    So he goes out to the balcony, jumps off, and seconds laterhe has splatted straight onto the ground, stone dead.
    The bartender looks over to the other guy and says, more...

    One day, Superman was flying across the sky, and he notices Wonderwoman lying asleep, but STARK NAKED on a beach blanket. So.. he decided to go down & get some.
    So after he had done the deed, he flew away. Then Wonderwoman got up and said "What was THAT?" And the invisible man said "I don't know... but my butt sure hurts."

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