Suffering Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It can buy a bed - but not sleep
    It can buy a clock - but not time
    It can buy you a book - but not knowledge
    It can buy you a position - but not respect
    It can buy you medicine - but not health
    It can buy you blood - but not life
    So you see, money isn't everything, and it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...
    So send me all your money and I will suffer for you!!

    COYOTE "vs" ACME

    Hot 1 year ago

    In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

    Cost to Get Married?

    Hot 1 year ago

    The little boy asked his dad one evening, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
    "I don't know, son," he said. "I'm still paying for it."

    If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.

    Help the Homeless

    Hot 6 years ago

    (This was posted a week ago in talk.pol.misc, but thought I'd let you
    mull it over. It is original writing, and is typical of my callous mode
    of social thought which I occasionally fall into.)
    Like many people, I have been thinking about the problem of homelessness in
    America's cities. Besides the obvious suffering of the homeless people, the
    spectacle of raggedly dressed people bent for warmth in the subways and bus
    stations of the cities greets visitors with a pronouncedly negative image.
    I have struck upon a means of eliminating the privation of the homeless while
    lessening the adverse impact they have on the surrounding neighborhoods.
    At a cost of about $250 per individual, each can be outfitted with a friendly
    Disney character costume. Generous insulation and bright, stain resistant
    colors would help to insure that the occupant remains warm inside and cheerful
    outside. As there are so many different characters, each more...

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