Stump Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a makeshift campfire. To the ranger's horror, the man is eating a fish and a bald eagle.
    He immediately arrests the man and puts him in jail. The following morning, the man appears before the Judge.
    "Are you aware that eating a Bald Eagle is a federal offense?" asks the Judge.
    "Yes, I am," replies the man, "but please allow me to explain what happened."
    "You may proceed," instructs the Judge.
    "I was lost in the woods and hadn't had anything real to eat for two weeks," explains the man. "I was so hungry, I was eating plants to stay alive."
    "Then one day, I arrive at a lake. I see a Bald Eagle swooping down to the water and flying away with a fish in its talons. I thought, 'if I startled the Eagle, maybe I could steal the fish.'"
    "Low and behold, the eagle lighted more...

    Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

    A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

    A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

    Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

    Unique New York.

    Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

    So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

    Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

    Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

    A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

    The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

    Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

    One more...

    Three missionaries are captured by a tribe of cannibals. When
    they are brought before the chief, he points to the first
    missionary and says
    "Do you want Death or do you want Bunda?"
    "I don't know what Bunda is but it sounds better than death, I'll
    take bunda."
    A cheer goes up from the tribe and they proceed to take turns
    bending him over a stump and having their way with him, and then
    let him go. The next day the chief points to the second
    missionary and says,
    "Do you want Death or do you want Bunda?"
    Not wanting bunda, but wanting death even less, the second
    missionary also chooses bunda. With a cheer they take him to the
    same stump, and after a few hours, they let him go. The third
    day, the chief points to the last missionary, and gives him the
    same choice. The third missionary, being more devout than the
    others, says
    "I'll take Death!"
    The loudest cheer more...

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