Stumbles Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Quasimodo, the bell-ringer for the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, goes to the cardinal. "Cardinal, I'm getting pretty old and I'd like to retire, and live the rest of my life peacefully." The cardinal says, "That's fine Quasi, we'll just let the town crier know so he can put out the call to find a new bell-ringer." The cardinal does this, and both he and Quasimodo hear the town crier announcing the job opening.
    After about three weeks, they are shocked because they haven't had anyone come for the job opening. The cardinal and Quasimodo are down on the steps talking, "Quasi," said the cardinal, "I'm sorry to say this but I can't let you go retire. We don't have anyone to ring the bells if you go. We'll keep the job offer open to anyone, but no one seems to want to do it." As he was speaking, an armless man runs up, and out of breath says, "I'm - here about - the bell - ringing job. Is it still - available?" The cardinal looks to more...

    The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about to retire, and has been notified by his bosses that he must first find a replacement bell ringer.
    He places a notice in the "Help Wanted" section of the local paper, and one day an applicant climbs the stairs to the bell tower, in search of employment.
    The Hunchback cautions him on the dangers involved in the job - mainly, that of slipping and falling to one's death while bell ringing. The applicant seems unimpressed by this, and explains to the Hunchback that he comes from a long line of bell ringers, and that his family uses a special bell ringing technique.
    The Hunchback, eager to see this, asks him to audition. The applicant goes up to a large bell perched high in the tower, pulls it towards him, and smashes his forehead into it to make it sound. Dazed from the impact, he stumbles and falls from the tower to his death below. The Hunchback climbs down there to find a crowd gathered and a policeman who says, "I see more...

    A lonely explorer is lost in the jungle and gets caught by a tribe of cannibals.
    He is brought to the chief who speaks his judgement:
    You shall be eaten alive!
    Unless you succeed in the three tests of liberty!
    The guy naturely agrees to perform the tests, for it is his last hope of escape.
    The Chief sentences hil to the test of the jungle:
    "First, you go in first hut and drink everything".
    "Then, you go in second hut, and break legs of lion!"
    "Last, you go in third hut and bring oldest tribe member (130 years old) to orgasm."
    The explorer enters the first hut and drinks 3 bottles of wine, 2 bottles of whisky and a crate of beer.
    After an hour he comes out, drunk as never before, and stumbles into the second hut.
    Suddenly hell breaks loose. Dust flies around, and the hut shakes wildly from left to right.
    The cannibals fear that their supper is being eaten by the lion, and just before they decide to kill the more...

    A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,"Im sorry sir, but I cant serve you... youve already had too much to drink." The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,"Im sorry, sir... but I cant serve you... youve already had too much to drink!" Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man..."Im really sorry, sir, but youve had too much to drink... youre going to have to leave!" The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God, man... How many bars do you work at?!!!"

    A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he
    could buy him a drink.
    "Why of course," comes the reply.
    The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
    "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds:
    "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to
    Ireland."
    "Of Course," replies the second man.
    Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
    "Dublin," comes the reply.
    "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's
    have another drink to Dublin."
    "Of course," replies the second man.
    Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you
    go to?"
    "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
    "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint more...

  • Recent Activity