Strawberry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
    If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
    If Swoosie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
    If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
    If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
    If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley Cooley.
    If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus, then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.
    If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie more...

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"

    "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.

    "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.

    "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."

    why did the baby strawberry cry? beacause its mom was stuck in a jam!

    Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"

    "What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.

    "Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.

    Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"

    "No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just... erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."

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