Stewardess Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Fleas

    Hot 7 months ago

    A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.
    "Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering.
    "I got a ride down here in some guy's mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar.
    "Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "You go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?"
    So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see more...

    Cooky!!!1

    Hot 4 months ago

    What did the cook name his son? Stew!

    Jamaica

    Hot 3 months ago

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket.
    The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica".
    The stewardess gets the Head Stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she again responds "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica".
    The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot.
    The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.
    The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".

    Going to Jamaica

    Hot 6 years ago

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

    Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time...
    Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
    When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
    When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
    Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
    Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
    Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
    Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!"
    Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
    "Accidentally" spill your soda on the dork next to you.
    Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't."
    Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! more...

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