Steve Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Pancake joke

    Hot 1 month agoby grad

    Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
    With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
    The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
    'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
    'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

    Steve Jobs

    Hot 2 weeks ago

    I don't blame the Democrats or the Republicans...
    I blame cancer for our loss of Jobs.
    © Reddit

    Safari Adventure

    Hot 1 year ago

    Having just returned from an African safari, Steve went to see his friend, Bill, to tell him of his adventures.
    "There I was, out in the jungle," he said, "when I suddenly heard a noise in the bush behind me. I looked back and saw a huge lion, licking his chops and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit. The lion started gaining on me once more, and as he got closer, he slipped again. I happened to see a house not far away, so I ran towards it. I got close to the house with the lion almost on top of me when he slipped for a third time. With my very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion's face."
    "That's quite a story, Steve," Bill said. "I would have crapped in my pants."
    "Well, what do you think the lion kept slipping on?!?"

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
    - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
    "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
    - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
    "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
    - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
    "But what... is it good for?"
    - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
    "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
    - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
    "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
    - Bill Gates, 1981
    "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of more...

    America Offline

    Hot 5 months ago

    [To the tune of "American Pie"]
    A long, long, time ago
    I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
    And I knew if I had the chance
    They could make my modem dance
    with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.
    But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
    with every busy they'd deliver.
    Bad news on the front page
    A 19-hour outrage.
    I can't remember if I cried
    when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
    But something touched me deep inside
    The day the service died.
    So bye bye to Amer'ca Online
    Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine.
    And good old geeks are cheering users offline
    Saying this'll be the day that they die.
    This'll be the day that they die.
    Did you write the book of TOS
    Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
    If an IM tells you so.
    And will you believe the Motley Fool
    When he tells you that the service rules
    And can you teach me how to Web real more...

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