a man walks into a doctor with a steering wheel down his pants and the doctor says "whats the matter;"and the man say "i dont know but its driving me nuts
Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be.
The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded more...
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone in lap, brick on
* with gun also in lap: L.A.
Both hands on top of wheel, one foot on brake, watching pedestrians
cross against the light: San Francisco
One hand on the wheel, one hand drumming (with drum stick) on the
dash board, Lap top on top of the Dashboard, left foot tapping, right
foot on the accelerator, head bobbing from side to side: Silicon
Valley, listening to KEZR
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
terror: Ohio, but driving in Boston.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
Both hands praying to Gates, knee on wheel, cradling cell phone in
lap, foot on brake, mind more...
61. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
62. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
63. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
64. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
65. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
66. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
67. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
68. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
A: Kick open the car door.
69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver's license?
A: The instructor gave her an "F" in sex.
70. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
71. Q: Why more...