Stack Jokes

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    A
    guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
    wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
    in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
    he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
    sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
    to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
    it with the owner.
    "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
    gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
    "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
    simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
    and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
    It protects it from the rain. In
    fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
    tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
    and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
    The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
    He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
    ecstatic (being a Harley more...

    What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

    Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselvesstanding before the pearly gates of Heaven, where StPeter and the Devil were standing nearby."Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact thatHeaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed tolimit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone ofyou can ask me a question which I don't know or cannotanswer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the mostcomprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snapof his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct."Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, thephilsopher disappeared.The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicatedformula you can ever more...

    And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh? the priest asked at confession. "I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence," said Kavanaugh. "I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!"

    His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV ads, just to make conversation. "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation."Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"Well," said Johnny, "I don't know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."
    Stupid Insults 16/31 "His pointers are null / uninitialized. His puzzle is missing a few pieces. His reaction time is longer than his attention span. - Thaves His root file system isn't mounted. His seat back is not in the full upright and locked position. His shared libraries aren't installed. His signal-to-noise ratio is epsilon. His spark can't jump the gap. His spirit guide is a three-toed sloth. His stack's not very deep / he has an eight-byte more...

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