Stabbed Jokes

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    Darwin Does it Again

    Hot 5 years ago

    Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend, Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday.
    Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground; adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.
    According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and more...

    There was an english man an irish man and a jewish man and they all decided to go in a helicopter. While they were up in the sky the english man threw a dagger out of the door, the irish man threw a sword out of the door and the jewish man threw a bomb out of the door. When they landed the english man went home and found his dad sitting on the floor crying so he said "whats up dad?" and his dad said "a dagger has just fell from the sky and stabbed your mum."
    Then the irish man went home and found his sister sitting on the floor crying so he said "whats up sis?" so she told him "a sword fell from the sky and stabbed mum and dad." Then the Jewish man went home and found his dad lying on the couch crying with laughter so he said "whats so funny pop?" so his dad replied " i've just farted an next doors house blew up!"

    Your mama so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
    Your mama so fat, your daddy is blind.
    Yo daddy so stupid he went to the drug store and asked for marijuana
    Yo girlfriend so ugly she went into an haunted house and they gave her an application.
    Your mama so ugly, she had YOU.
    Your daddy so stupid, he kept you.
    Yo girlfriend so ugly when she was born the doctor took a look at her and spanked her parents.
    Yo daddy so stupid he told everyone that he was "illegitiment" because he couldn't read.
    Yo brother so stupid that when he was driving to disneyland he saw a sign that said Disneyland left, so
    he went home.
    Your sister so ugly, last time she didn't wipe her ass she gave me a dirty look.
    Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
    Your whole family so ugly that when your parents told you about safe sex, they took the seat off your unicycle and gave your sister a broom.
    Yo daddy so stupid he got stabbed in more...

    There once was this Vietnam vet who still occasionally had very vivid flasbacks. The man worked as a dentist and one day, he was doing a normal check-up, when a flashback hit him. He went crazy and repeatedly stabbed the patient. Needless to say, he was fired and needed another job.
    The vet tried to think of places that wouldn't ask too many questions, so he walked down to the local McDonald's and applied for a position. They hired him and the first few weeks went well. But one day he was cooking a cheeseburger when another flashback hit him and he stabbed the hamburger into pulp. One of his co-workers turned and asked him with one question: "Are you a dentist?"

    Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

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