Spy Jokes

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    A Coded Message

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.
    The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.
    The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.
    The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down.

    Murphy the Spy

    Hot 1 year ago

    The CIA lost track of it’s operative in Ireland “Murphy. ” The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ” So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small towns. He says to the bartender, “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a guy named Murphy. ” The bartender replies, “You’re going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There’s Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There’s Murphy the Banker, who’s president of our local savings bank. There’s Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too. ” Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code more...

    Who was the first underwater spy?
    James Pond!

    What do you call a frog spy? A croak and dagger agent!

    Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

    Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy Plane

    10. American codes can be broken by anyone with a basic understanding of Pig Latin

    9. On-board computers were mainly used for Internet casino video poker

    8. According to plaque, "When Bush gives order, nod politely, wait to hear what Cheney says"

    7. Cockpit full of Colt 45 bottles

    6. Mission was to determine if Chinese people can fly like in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"

    5. "Cloaking device" button only there because pilot's a "Star Trek" fan

    4. Maybe not the best idea to write "Spy plane" on wings

    3. The plane's more...

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