Spot Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Physics Puzzle...

    Hot 2 years ago

    Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
    Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
    Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
    The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
    The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...

    A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    Anger Management

    Hot 3 years ago

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don''t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don''t know.
    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I''d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn''t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn''s correct number to call her, I found
    that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the' 'wrong'' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You''re an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word' 'asshole'' next to it, and put it in my desk more...

    A blonde has just inherited a Ranch but only had two horses. The problem was she couldn't tell them apart. So she goes to her neighbor rancher and asks for help. He suggests cutting ones tail a bit shorter then the other. She does it but then a week later she comes back and tells the neighbor rancher that it grew back. So he tells her to tie a different colored string around one of the horses neck. She does it but a week later the tie slips off and she has to go back to the neighbor. So he suggest she paint a different color spot on each of the horses. She does and comes back a week later with cookies.
    She tells the neighbor rancher, "Here I baked these for you. Your plan worked perfectly. I painted a red spot on the black horse and a blue spot on the white horse."

    After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead,
    run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is
    especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
    Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears
    back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done
    something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house
    for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when
    you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
    Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then when
    the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at
    the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
    Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff
    around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose
    to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the more...

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