Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.
Notes from an inexperienced chili tester named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The regular judge called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the two other judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have all the free beer I wanted during the chili tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI #1: MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
Judge #1: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge #2: Nice, smooth flavor. Very mild.
Frank: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me 3 beers to put the flames out. I hope this is the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI #2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge #1: Smoky, with more...
it was said that posh spice was having an affair with michael jackson. He denied it as he was in Brooklyn at the time
My best friend married a doctor several years ago. After being married for about three years, my friend's husband said to his wife, "You need to do something to spice up our love-making."
Shortly thereafter, he came home and found his wife in bed with another man who also happened to be a doctor.
"But, why?" asked her hubby.
"You said that I needed to do something to spice up our love-making," she replied. "I just wanted to get a second opinion."
Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can't sing, they can't dance and they look awful. What makes you think they can change a light bulb?