Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg? A: They won't stop to ask directions. Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer. Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds? A: The bonds mature. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know; it has never happened. Q: Why is it more...

Once upon a time in a place where little sperms grow, there was a super jock sperm who spent all his time working out. He did things like lifting weights and running, his most important duty. All the other sperm were very curious about his pastimes.
"Why do you keep working out all the time," they asked.
"Well," he said, "Of all us sperms, only one of us is going to make it to the egg. And that is going to be me." Well, the other sperms just floated around waiting for the day to cum (pardon the expression). And it did, and they were off! All those sperms racing along and far out in front of them was the super jock sperm, racing so fast and so hard (ha HA ) that they couldn't see him any more, but they still kept cumming.
Alas, then, away in the distance, they heard a loud piercing scream. They still kept cumming though.
And then very shortly the super sperm appeared, screaming with all his might, "Go back, Go Back! IT'S A BLOW more...

A man and a woman met in an elevator. "Where are you headed today?" the man asked. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "Oh, about $20." "Wow," said the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman then walked off angrily. The next day, the man and woman met at the elevator once again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she said with her mouth full.

What did one gay sperm say to the other? - I can't find my way through all this shit.

Why does it take 100 sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
Because men won't stop for directions!

Q: What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

Women One Liners1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. 2. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. 3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Not one will stop to ask directions. 4. What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. 5. How does a man show he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. 6. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds eventually mature. 7. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. 8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened. 9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends. 10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. 11. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in more...