Spank Jokes / Recent Jokes
Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist!
Little Johnny and his little red wagon goes to the store and he asks the clerk "do you have any bum?"
The clerk said, "no you mean gum."
Then Johnny asks the clerk "do you have a fuck it?"
The clerk said "no you mean a bucket."
Finally Johnny asks the clerk " do you have a cock and spank it?"
The clerk said "no you mean a cocker spaniel."
As Little Johnny goes home with all of his stuff in his little red wagon he suddenly forgot one more thing so he goes up to a old man and he said to him.
"Sir can you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it?!"
This dad takes his son hunting. He tells his son," Okay, if you say a word while we're out here I'm gonna spank you." So the first day passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. Second day passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. Then the third day comes, and they found a big bull elk. The dad takes aim and just as he's about to squeeze the trigger the little boy begins screaming. The bull runs off and the dad turns around and says," Now I'm gonna spank you!!" The little boy looks up at his dad and says," But dad, the first day that the mountain lion chased me I didn't say anything, the second day when the rattle snake crawled across my boot I didn't say a word I just couldn't stand it when the two squrrals ran up my pants and says," lets eat one now and save one for later."
Pretend to spank me – I'm a pseudo-masochist!
My most memorable one was, after being lightly smacked on the butt and asking, "What was that for?" "Nothing. DO something and see what you get." I once got smacked and when I asked, "What was that for?" my mom replied, That's for all the things I never found out about." If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me! Variation: Cut your legs off in that lawnmower, don't you come running to me! If you poke your eye out with that thing, don't come looking for me! You always find things in the last place you look. Keep doing that with your face and it'll stay that way. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Variation: (speaking in time with the spanking) This(spank) hurts(spank) me(spank) more(spank)..... I want you to go find something for me to spank you with. Mother to my Father: "He's got my looks and your brains!" "He's your son!"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate. What were you thinking more...
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..."
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"I'm THIRSTY... Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"