Space Jokes / Recent Jokes

Plan B is to destroy the asteroid by sending up that Nigerian man with a bomb in his underpants.

Parking Space

Hot 6 years ago

Moshe is driving around in a car park, but to his dismay, he cannot find a parking space. He drives around for half an hour then looks up to the heavens and says:
"Excuse me? It's Moshe. G-d I really need your help. I can't find a parking space. I promise if you find me one I will go to shul every week and I will keep every Jewish law ever written!"
Just then, a parking space appears in front of him. Moshe looks up to the sky again and says:
"Actually, don't worry G-d, I just found one!"

A mysterious X-shaped pattern of space debris seen by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope was probably two asteroids that collided, scientists said Tuesday. Scientists believe the collision happened when one of the asteroids suddenly accelerated. Scientists are calling the pattern of debris the Toyota Camry.

Meteor--right?

Hot 1 year ago

The latest research into possible evidence of past Martian life has failed to win over some scientists, who remain skeptical of any claims that a Martian meteorite shows signs of life that once existed on Mars. Kathie Thomas-Keprta of NASA's Johnson Space Center, found that organisms in the meteorite were identical in shape to those on earth. Some critics say there were no organisms on the meteorite. In other words, she faked an organism.

The Job Interview...

Hot 9 months ago

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was - "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

The boss says, "What in the world is that?"
Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."
"Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99".

Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree' n more...

Are you wearing space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

1. How to get rid of nuclear waste:
Sending nuclear waste into the sun is expensive, because of the amount of
energy expended in getting it out of Earth's gravity well, which is most
probably more energy than was obtained from the fuel in the first place.
The best way to get rid of nuclear waste is to put it on the government
surplus list. People will bid on anything if they think they are getting
a good deal. And as for the damage it will cause, frankly do you really
care what happens to people stupid enough to buy something that is clearly
marked "Hazardous Nuclear Waste?"
2. How to fund private space concerns:
This is a twofold problem: first the difficulty with Congress, and second
the lack of funding. Both these problems can be solved in one simple
manner. Make slavery legal again. All the work on the Constitution has
already been done; you merely need repeal the Emancipation Proclamation.
Now, since congressmen more...